I call it “The Weird Feeling” and I feel it everyday. I lie and say I’m never anxious.
Calling anxiety weird doesn’t make it any less real, it’s still there and it still gets in the way. Anxiety is like running in shoes that fit too tightly, you can still go but everything feels wrong.
I feel wrong.
Anxiety is a left hand that’s helpful until you try to brush your teeth or sign your name. Then it just makes a mess of things.
I’m a professional at disguising and renaming my imperfections. It does absolutely nothing to change their existence, of course, it just lets them fester and become chronic.
Maybe you’re like me and you create realities where your disorders aren’t the same as everyones else’s … they’re special. Then, by default, your special. That’s actually called delusional and it describes me a lot more than I’d like to admit.
Some people call whole wheat pizza healthy, some don’t call it cheating if they’re in another zip code, most think worldly rules somehow don’t apply to them. That their dad will outlive smoking, their brother will start making selfless decisions, their husband will develop compassion.
Selling yourself short begins with selling yourself stories that just aren’t true. Bad’s bad, good’s good, and the ability to recreate yourself begins with just how honest you’re willing to be.
Is it really everyone else’s fault; or is that weird feeling only strange because you keep changing the rules to mask your behavior?
AMRAP 20 Minutes
EMOTM for 10 Minutes
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