I became an expert at imagination from a lifetime of church. During the loud tedious ramblings called “music” I became a superhero, or a fighter, or a god. I became everything I ever wanted to be. Anything that would let me take my mind off the whaling that passes for singing in cathedrals all over world.
Every Sunday I would sit in a different pew to avoid this cruel form of steeple punishment. Every Sunday another Jewel impersonator sat right beside me and belted out lyrics like a rusty chainsaw.
I hated every second of church because it started with god awful singing.
“How can they sing, if they are deaf. They must be deaf, right, I mean I can hear them and if they hear themselves they would surly swallow a bullet before breathing another vowel,” I thought to myself. For a long time I let the obnoxious off-key voice of others effect my salivation. I still do that today, and I hate myself for it.
One day the guy at the pulpit said to the congregation, “the music isn’t for you, it’s for all. It’s praise.” Thankfully, I was listening that day.
I realized that the lady behind me, the one I dreamt of smothering, doesn’t care a bit about what I think of her singing. She sings anyway, regardless of who hears, no matter who she offends, no matter who’s listening: She sings.
The coolest believers are those that sing the loudest without a care in the world for who is listening. They’re the ones who bring in the non-believers wanting to see what all the fuss is about. They’re the ones who sing regardless of what they think of the song because the music playing isn’t just for them, it’s for all.
One minute per station of the following
1) 30 Second handstand hold against a wall
2) 30 Double Unders
3) Kettlebell Turkish Get‐Up 35/53
4) 3 Dead Hang Pull Ups
5) 2 Ring Dips (may Kip)
6) 5 One‐Arm KB OHS 35/55
7) 2 Skin the Cats
8) 5 Pistols
9) 1 20/15ft Rope Climb
10) 3 Handstand Push Ups
11) 5 Yard Handstand Walk
12) 10 Second L‐Sit
13) 1 Muscle Up
*Each task counts as a point. Use as many attempts within the minute as possible. Do not log modifications, journal the stations you are unable to complete for training purposes.
**Score total points, followed by how many stations completed as RXD.
AMRAP 13 Minutes
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