I think of my dead father a lot. I miss him. I still wonder why I couldn’t save him from a life of addiction to hard drugs, hard liqueur and hard sugar. I see a little of my dad in every human killing themselves and their children with food today and I pray they get it before it’s too late.
I write a lot, thousands of words a day in fact. Many for HQ, many for this blog, many for my books, many in journals I will burn for fear of someone learning too much about me. The more you write, the more time you spend in your head, I think that’s why writers drink a lot and commit a lot of suicide. Sometimes I hit the “period” key hard and lean back like a painter with his last stroke, admiring something only my I could create. The rest of the time I feel like a prisoner stuck behind bars looking across at all the other free souls typing a way at their masterpieces. I shout, but they can’t hear me and I am left alone in my cell with a blank screen waiting to be loved with words.
My dad was a prisoner everyday.
The last 12 years of his life consisted of a one-bedroom apartment he never really cared to leave. After having a stroke some 11 years ago, his confidence wavered when in crowds, when around anyone other than me. He simply got comfortable being alone, he lost passion, he had no goal to achieve, not a problem to solve.
Addiction is life. We cannot survive without it. For my Dad, he gave up being addicted to achievement, and resolution. After that, he needed something to make him happy, something to cue his brain into thinking he was rewarded as a person. He chose food, and good food doesn’t give the same reward as bad food.
We have proven to the world that Paleo works and the world doesn’t give two shits. My Dad didn’t, and nor will anyone until they find a wholesome, maybe not even, addiction to live for. Basically, healthy for the sake of healthy is a battle we are destined to lose. Healthy to maintain our addictions, now that’s another idea all together?
I was never able to save my father because I presented factual knowledge that is irrefutable in and on me, now I know, I should of just found him another addiction to exchange the one he already had. Simply put, we can’t fight who we are, and we are all addicted.
To win the war on food, don’t stop buying cheerios, or start eating more nuts. Don’t hire me to tell you your an idiot every time you eat peanut butter cups. To win the war on food, find something you love and fill your days with it. Exchange one addiction for another, making sure only that the addiction has zero to do with Calories or drugs, and everything to do with your sense of meaning in this world.
My Dad sat around all day long in a one bedroom apartment lost and empty. As many do today when they have no passion, he filled up on food. When I need filled, I have my writing, CrossFit, you. To eliminate addiction is impossible, to exchange vice for virtue is human.
*Triple-unders if you have doubles.
10-Hang power snatch 55/75
10-Toe 2 bar
@ 20 minutes
*Begin a running clock and perform each sub-section according. The amount of rest between workouts is however long the effort becomes. Score total working time added across all workouts.
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