“Focus Fight and Forge Ahead with Cindy”…
“Character is higher than intellect. Thinking is a function, living is functionary.”
CrossFit has a special way of dusting off stars and letting their remarkable warming light shine trough. Every star is bright in a different equally important way, but not every star takes the time to kick off the dirt, not every star will shine on everyone around them.
Recently I asked Cindy if she would begin a series detailing observations she has had with CrossFit over her six months or so of dedication. One thing CrossFit has taught me, actually the best thing CrossFit has taught me, is that the people around us everyday matter most, and it’s about finding a way to help them shine as bright as they were designed. “Focus, Fight, and Forge Ahead” is the beginning of Cindy’s series detailing just how great it feels to shine, and the effect that bright light has on all those around us we care for.
When I first started CrossFit I had no idea what to expect…I had no idea how much CrossFit would change my life. I mean, how could going to the gym every few days truly change the entire way you look at life? Then after my first WOD of 8 Squats-8Burpees AMRAP for 8 minutes…I saw the light. At first I thought it was the light and Jesus was calling me home…then after I realized that I wasn’t actually going to be the first person to die on the mat at Practice, I thought to myself “this is going to change me.” That is when I got scared. Because I know change is scary… especially when you have been living in a cozy padded room of excuses for so long.
It is still pretty amazing to me that nothing in my life has changed in the past year, except me. At this time last year I was making one excuse after another of why I could not take the time to better myself. I let my children, my school work, and my marriage shield me from having to deal with me and my issues. I somehow let myself believe that I was a better Mom & Wife if I was giving everything and not asking for anything…when in reality that was killing me.
Besides the obvious fact that I was overweight and completely unhappy with my body, I was an angry person. Maybe not to those that were just looking in but the anger was with me each and every day. Inside I felt like, “look at everything I do for all of you…why aren’t you all working to make me happy?” That might sound very harsh but after you pull away all the bulls*it- in reality that is what it boils down to. When you give so much of yourself…there is none of you leftover to make your own happiness. It does not matter how much you love someone…they can’t “love” you happy…you have to love yourself and create your own happiness.
I was so busy trying to be Superwoman that I was hiding behind those that I love…and forgetting to be happy. And it turns out my husband and children don’t want Superwoman…they want a happy and healthy Cindy…although Superwoman does dress better than I do…
I have my good days and I have my bad days…we all do. I have just stopped letting the bad days provide excuses for not making the time for me. I stopped letting life provide an excuse for not going to CrossFit…I stopped letting myself feel I deserve to eat whatever I want because life sucks sometimes…I never claimed to be perfect…I am a Woman, Wife, Mother, CrossFitter, and Friend with beautiful flaws…and I’m on the journey to learn how to embrace my strength and live in that power….but perfect, I never claimed to be….
So, a year later from my rock bottom and six months into CrossFit…I can now own the fact that I was the only person standing in the way of my success. I feel until you own the fact that it is you and your excuses that are holding you back and not your life, you will not be able to move forward. We all have the ability to change…we all have the ability to Focus…Fight…and Forge Ahead. Because we are CrossFitters and we are worth the work it takes to change…and that is so much cooler than SuperWoman or SuperMan any day….
For Time and Score:
Max rep-Power Clean @ 60% 1 RM
Body weight Bench Press
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